Before you get started on planning to tell your children about your divorce, make sure you are settled in this decision and there is no indecisiveness. There is no need to alert your children to the problems in your marriage until you are certain the relationship is over. Talking about divorce before you are even sure of your decision will only cause unnecessary stress and anxiety for them, so hold off on this conversation until your path forward is clear.
If you are certain your marriage has come to an end, now is the time to take a moment and prepare for the conversation with your children.
Talking to Your Children About Divorce
When you have this sensitive conversation with your children, you and your spouse should plan to do it together. It might be difficult, but doing this as a team is immensely crucial for their wellbeing. It lets them know that although you will no longer be a couple, you will always be their parents.
Here are some other tips you should consider at this time:
- Write out the points you want to address: You do not need to script your entire conversation, but you should have an idea of what you plan to discuss during this initial conversation. If your nerves get to you and you forget what you wanted to say, writing out some notes will be helpful.
- Block out enough time for it: Your kids might have a lot of questions, so you need to block out enough time for them to process the information you give them. Even if they have nothing to ask at this time, it is still best to let them have a few hours or even the weekend to think about what you and your spouse said. Do not try to squeeze this conversation in before bedtime on a school night or while dropping them off at school.
- Do not lie: You want to be as gentle as possible when you break the news to them and you certainly should not explain why the divorce is happening in detail, but you should still be honest with them. Do not make promises you know you cannot keep.
- Do not play the blame game: Your children will likely ask why you are getting a divorce and you might feel tempted to point the finger at your spouse, but this is not helpful for them, so try to refrain from playing the blame game. Let your kids know that it was just an adult decision and nothing they did influenced it.
Although you know you love your children, emphasize this point to them during your conversation. They are likely feeling a lot of uncertainty at this time, so remind them that you will always be there for them no matter what.
Speak to an Experienced Divorce Attorney Today!
You need a knowledgeable and compassionate divorce attorney on your side if you are currently going through the process of ending your marriage. At Casey, Simmons & Bryant, PLLC, our team is dedicated to helping clients navigate this emotionally challenging experience.
Contact us today at (731) 256-0023 to request a free consultation.